BERNIE SANDERS IS OFFICIALLY OUT OF THE RACE HE IS NO LONGER A CANDIDATE - HE DOES NOT WANT YOUR VOTE. HE WANTS US TO VOTE HILLARY TO DETRUMP THE TRUMP - GET YOUR BERNIE OR BUST RHETORIC AWAY. CLEAR IT FROM YOUR MINDS. VOTE HILLARY. GIVE HER ANY NUMBER BOOSTS YOU CAN. I DON’T CARE. USE YOUR FUCKING BRAINS. PLEASE.
If you want cute names for your partner just use ones on candles they’re so beautiful like pumpkin spice or Passion flower or midnight rose or vanilla bean
if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them
teenagers: we are going to punch you me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied
teenagers: we are going to kick you me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…
teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….
teenagers: we are going to call you mean names me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….
teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it ! me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.
teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden
teenagers: we are about to physically assault you me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut
teenagers: we are going to commit felonies me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …
teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet
teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism! me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield
This is so fascinating to me like everyone is constantly telling the “Internet Generation” to go out and feel things and connect with nature but look at these names look how much satiric intent and also PURE AFFECTION there is don’t tell me careful thought didn’t go into Danger Noodle I s2g
this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
yay its back.
so… I half jokingly reblogged this yesterday cos I thought it was a nice picture… and was like oh wow I only get wishes on birthdays what would I wish for?!?!?! how about gainful employment L0L
… and like…
I have a job now? That I never applied for? That someone just called me up and said “here, have this”? In a place I really really like?
So like… h8ers gonna h8 or something
Hey hey hey hey I don’t like writting in posts, but I need to. Because THIS. FUCKING. WORKS. And I asked for something almost impossible,
I reblog this every time I see it
plz plz plz
Guys, I just saw this and I remember reblogging it before, and I wished that my crush would tell me his true feelings about me, and like five days ago, he confessed to liking me, and we started dating. This shit works. Thanks tumblr
